Lots of people who run across a person who is deaf, or a signer, find themselves wishing they knew a couple of basic signs.

I’m deaf, and I often wish people around me knew basic signs. That way I could briefly communicate with them if I needed to.

Some online links are great for learning to sign, but where do you start? American Sign Language is overwhelmingly visual and complex.

To start with the basics, we don’t sign words such as “are” or “is” or “a” or “to.” Those words are omitted to make it a visual language. We sign “how you?” instead of “How are you?”, “where bathroom?” instead of “Where is the bathroom?” and so on. English grammar brings awkward pauses in our signing. I hope this makes sense!

The most important skill you should know is how to finger spell the alphabet. With this, you can finger spell a word and ask for the sign that accompanies it.

Here are some important phrases in American Sign Language:

1. Good Morning / Good Afternoon / Evening
2. How are you? Good / Fine
3. Have a good day / Have a good night / Have a good weekend
4. Thank you/You’re welcome
5. Can I help you? / How can I help you?
6. Where is _____? bathroom/food (eat) / break room / office / front desk / conference room
7. How do you sign [finger spell word]?
8. Sorry / excuse me / please
9. My name is [finger spell name].
10. Nice to meet you!

With these phrases, you can have a short conversation with a person who is deaf and a person who is a signer. Those signs are not the only signs you should know, though. If you find yourself in a situation where you will have repeated encounters with a person who is deaf, I encourage you to learn more signs to carry on a longer conversation.

Here’s a link to many more signs that can be constructed into sentences. I hope you get a chance to use some of the signs you just learned! The American Sign Language is a beautiful language, and I’d love for you to be able to enjoy it as much as I do!

P.S. If you’re stuck with basic signs and do not have an interpreter present, do offer a pen and paper, or a computer/tablet to converse back and forth. You’d be surprised how much a simple gesture like that can mean to a person who is deaf.

A friend sent me a text the other day that said this: “Wishing you a prosperous new year excited face with money symbols for eyes and stuck-out tongue excited face with money symbols for eyes and stuck-out tongue excited face with money symbols for eyes and stuck-out tongue excited face with money symbols for eyes and stuck-out tongue. You guys free tonight? Give me a call.”

I never got to the part where I was supposed to give them a call. The emojis got in the way.

Five years ago I published a post here about how some people who are blind access a program called VoiceOver to use an iPhone — VoiceOver parrots every letter we type into a text, and a key next to the space bar on the iPhone keypad lets us choose from lists and lists and lists of emojis to use with texts. VoiceOver reads the images out loud for those of us who can’t see them. Let me show you what I mean. Here’s a sampling of what I hear when choosing from the list of “Smileys and other people” emojis:

• “Smiling face with sunglasses”
• “Unamused face”
• “Winking face with stuck-out tongue”
• “Sleeping face”
• “Nerdy face with thick horn-rimmed glasses and buck teeth”
• “Neutral face”
• “Expressionless face”
• “Smiling face licking lips”
• “Slightly smiling face”
• “Smirking face”
• “Face with rolling eyes”
• “Face with no mouth”
• “Flushed face”
• “Thinking face”
• “Angry face”
• “Pouting face”
• “Disappointed face”
• “Grinning face with clenched teeth”

You get the picture.

Some of the blind people I know tweet and text using emojis, but usually just one per message. Multiple emojis might be easy to ignore if you see them all the time, but listening to multiple emojis? It’s time-consuming, and if you want to know the truth, kind of a pain.

If you are texting a friend who uses a screen reader, or if you want your tweet to be accessible to all, including those of us with visual impairments, here are some simple tips:

Don’ts

• Don’t repeat an emoji over and over;
• Don’t place emojis throughout a message;
• Don’t put a call to action after the emoji.

Dos

• Do use one or two emojis if you like, most blind people get a kick out of the descriptions;
• Do put any important information before the emojis so we’ll be more likely to hear them;
• Do limit yourself to no more than three emojis per message.

If you use texts or tweets to market your business, your blog, your YouTube channel, remember that each of your tweets and texts sends a message out to your community. Approximately 300 million people in the world are visually impaired, and over 50 million of us are totally blind. Go easy on the emojis, and we’ll get the messsage, too!

More thoughts on disability and emojis:

• I’m Ready For An Emoji That Represents My Disability
• What Happens If You Can’t See Emojis?

Every parent wants the best for their child. For some families the “best” sometimes means choosing a new place to live. Families have asked me where the “best” place to live is if you have a child with autism. They wonder whether there is one location where services are all top-notch, a place where their child could be guaranteed access to quality treatment and a wonderful community of support.

The good news is that there are great communities and service providers in many locations. And the bad news is that even in the most service-rich areas, not every child is receiving quality intervention. I have worked in dense urban environments (San Francisco) and rural/remote environments (Alaska). Both settings delivered fantastic services.

Autism Speaks just completed an on-line survey on the ‘Ten Best Places to Live if You Have Autism.’ The report has some great stories about communities and their support for residents with autism. The majority of the locales were large urban settings. This may simply be an issue of volume — there are more people whom can respond in New York City than there are in Paducah.

But even in the large urban centers, the majority of respondents in the survey felt that services were still lacking. When asked, I tell families to try to determine where they might find the greatest amount of support. When I was working in rural Alaska, some parents felt some sense of urgency about moving to a larger city for better services. Then I’d see their child with autism playing after school with their cousins who lived in the village, attending school in the village alongside classmates they had grown up with since birth, fishing with their grandfather who was an elder in the village. These children may have had to take a plane in order to see a neurologist somewhere, but they were able to spend every day with an incredibly supportive community.

So where IS the best place to live if you have autism? Parents every day make this personal decision. I look forward to the day when there is no “best” place to live … because every place will be a good place to live.

Maybe it’s because I’m blind. I’ve heard Itzhak Perlman perform on the radio and on television, but without being able to see the renowned violinist on stage, I had no idea he has a disability.

Until, that is, I heard Steve Inskeep interview Itzhak Perlman on NPR’s Morning Edition a couple weeks ago.

Itzhak Perlman contracted polio when he was 4 years old, and he’s used crutches ever since. When asked about his disability during the NPR interview, he said it has nothing to do with his performance. “I can’t walk very well, but I’m not onstage to do walking,” he told NPR’s Steve Inskeep. “I’m on the stage to play.”

I thought it was a great answer. Steve Inskeep, however, kept pushing with follow-up questions: Does it make any difference to you that you sit rather than stand during solos? Did polio limit your options, and that’s why you gravitated to playing the violin? So you’re telling me that people expected no less of you because you couldn’t walk?

I know that those of us who have disabilities are in the minority, and it’s human nature to be curious about how and why we do the things we do. But isn’t one or two questions enough? Before asking one of his many, many disability-related questions during the interview, Inskeep acknowledged that the particular one he was about to ask would be “surely an unanswerable question” and then went on to ask it anyway. “Would you have been the same musician that you are had you not been stricken with polio at a very young age?” Perlman’s answer to the surely unanswerable question was just another example of what a gracious and self-aware man he is:

“I think yes. You know, a lot of people like to think that polio was an inspiration in what I do. I think that music has to do with what kind of passion do you have. If I was destined to be a musician, it would have happened.”

So hmm. Maybe the reason I didn’t know that Itzhak Perlman had a disability has nothing to do with the fact that I can’t see him. It’s just that his disability is not the most important — or the most interesting — thing about him.

This Mother’s Day, we are thrilled to introduce Sofiya Cheyenne as a guest blogger. Sofiya is a mom, actor, performance artist, teaching artist, and disability advocate. She was recently featured in the ‘That’s My Easterseals‘ PSA series to promote access to education for all children.

When my son Logan was born almost two years ago, it was the most transformative day of my life. I never knew I could love someone so quickly and fiercely; that’s when I realized being a mom changes you completely. And as a parent with dwarfism who gave birth to a child with dwarfism, I knew that this new love of mine would encounter barriers in his life, just like I have. Taking on this job is scary for any parent, but I am so lucky to have a supportive network. My friends and family have been encouraging of my growing family – especially since Logan is the first grandchild in both my family and my husband’s; it was a big deal!

Even with all the support I was privileged to have, the toughest thing about being a mom with a disability is the stigma that exists around it. When someone is pregnant, regardless of disability, the medical industry works so hard to convince these new families of a “healthy child.” What that means to mainstream society is “perfect genetics” with no differences or uniqueness – just predictability. The medical industry, and even society, can make you feel like you don’t belong and that you cannot or should not have children. They can make you feel like that you are not equipped to handle motherhood because of your difference. It is harsh, it is ugly, and it is wrong. And as you move through the world, you have to ignore these things. You have to push against these assumptions and literally dodge the negativity.

We MUST prove them wrong. It is only us that knows what our lived experience can be – our lived experience of survival that is beautifully unique. We must teach, we must advocate, we must choose the circles of doctors around us that believe the same things we do. It is exhausting and can be even defeating at times. But until the world is a place that can expect difference in the room at all times, we must push.

If you are new parents, a new mother, or a person that is starting to plan for a family, know that YOU are valued. YOUR family can thrive. As long as YOU choose the support that you need around you. YOU are in control. Do not let the doctors, the media, or society tell you otherwise. There ARE high-risk specialists and there are communities of support that value you as a person – you just have to do the work to find them. There are supportive policies and laws that exists today, thanks to the Americans with Disabilities Act, that can support your family. Your state, your county, and your school districts should all have information to support you in your child’s life.

I would encourage nondisabled and disabled people expecting a child with a disability to follow disabled parents on social media and read books by people with disabilities. Embrace disability culture and don’t be afraid to ask questions! Ensuring your child who has a disability has a connection to their disability culture is so important – it lets them know they always have a community to go to for support at belonging. The disability community needs each other to thrive and to survive – so why not give them access to culture from the very start?

Being a mom has made me a more confident, focused, and patient person. It is a selfless act, but it is also something that, if you lean into it enough, will help you grow. I don’t think there is anything different about being a mom with a disability – I just think that it comes with a different perspective. Because my son has dwarfism, my husband and I are so well equipped to handle any obstacle that comes in our way with Logan. We’ve been there. I believe in you, too – parents with disabilities out there, you’ve got this!