Undoing Internalized Ableism: Disability Pride and Advocacy

What is Ableism?

Ableism is prejudice and discrimination towards disabled individuals. Ableism labels disabled people as lesser than non-disabled people. Ableism defines disabled people by only their disabilities, reducing the whole person to only their conditions and perceived level of ability. Discrimination towards those with disabilities can be seen in a variety of ways — from systems built without consideration for disability, to the personal mistreatment of disabled individuals in their everyday lives. 

What is Internalized Ableism?

Internalized ableism happens when a disabled person has harmful beliefs surrounding disability themselves. Experiencing ableism from our surrounding culture and community can sometimes lead to feeling as though the negative beliefs others have about us as disabled people must be true. Often, internalized ableism can look like somebody with disabilities condemning and shaming themselves for their support needs, symptoms, and conditions at large. Internalized ableism leads to disabled people believing hurtful things about themselves due to their disability status. 

“For me, I’ve particularly struggled with feelings of inadequacy. There are times in which my disabilities prevent me from doing what I’d like to ideally do and the frustration with that reality can make me feel like a failure. I would fixate on all that I can't do and feel like those limitations proved my negative self beliefs. While those feelings can still surface when I’m struggling, I’ve put a lot of work into reframing the thoughts I have around the limitations that can come with my disabilities. I try to think of myself with compassion instead of condemnation, acknowledging my frustration but not needlessly blaming myself. I remind myself of all I can do, and I work at doing the things I love in the ways I’m able.” - Liz Johnson

How to Address Internalized Ableism

We can work to undo our internalized ableism by first doing a self-check on how we think of ourselves in relation to our disabilities. Internalized ableism can show up in the beliefs we hold about ourselves and the way we treat our needs and wants. If we understand the ways in which we might be placing judgement on ourselves, we can make strides to treat ourselves with greater compassion and break through our negative beliefs surrounding disability.

These questions can feel difficult to ask and answer. Processing them either privately (like in a personal journal) or with a trusted loved one or support provider can make it easier.

Some questions you can ask yourself:

• When I am experiencing a challenge related to my disability, what is my first thought?
• How do I define my disability/disabilities?
• How do I define myself? What are some words or phrases that describe me?
• How often do I feel as though I’m unworthy, unlovable, or a failure?
• What are the accommodations and supports I need to live my best life? Am I getting those? Why/why not?

Once you have an understanding of where internalized ableism might show up for you, there are many different ways to work on developing new self-concepts surrounding your identity and disability. 

“It’s easy for me to encourage others to accommodate their disabilities, but I still find myself trying to overcome my own. I clock my own internalized ableism when I start to have thoughts like ‘I can push through this pain’ or ‘I should be able to complete this task!’ With the help of my autism therapist, I’ve learned to meet these thoughts with kindness rather than shame. I may think I should be able to do something, but that doesn’t mean I have less value if I can’t. I remind myself often that the only thing I ‘should’ do is meet the needs of my brain and body.” - Lily Newton

Some ways to practice building disability pride:

• Join a local organization, support group, self-advocacy network or other community group and spend time with fellow disabled individuals.
• Research disability justice, pride, and history. Learn about how disabled individuals have impacted the world for the better, and know you are in good company.
• Use affirmations and practice acknowledging your successes and positive attributes.
• Advocate for your needs and wants. The more you do, the easier it becomes!
• Talk about disability with the people around you. How can those in your life better understand and support you?

Building a stronger self-concept is multi-faceted. Improving our relationship to ourselves and our disability to break through internalized ableism is a lifelong practice. And while the idea of a lifelong practice can feel daunting, knowing that the work will be ongoing, it also means that small bits of intentional action can accumulate over time. All the energy we put into changing our perception will fuel a more positive relationship to disability and to ourselves.

“Sometimes I have negative thoughts about the physical and medical symptoms of my disability, and I tell myself this is valid-—because it’s natural to want to feel comfortable and safe in your body. But sometimes negative thoughts about what I can’t do creep in, and I have to reframe it to avoid internalized ableism. Instead of ‘I wish I could get out of bed by myself so my aging parents didn’t have to do it,’ I think, ‘I wish I had access to better, consistent care to be more independent.’ It’s really important to tell the difference between natural, valid wants and negative self-talk; that reframing has changed how I think of myself and my disability. It’s about understanding how my limitations are because of ableism and societal barriers rather than a personal failing that would go away if I had a non-disabled body.” - Erin Hawley

Building Community and Advocacy

Sometimes, we can neglect or invalidate our support needs because of internalized ableism. We can falsely believe that needing more help makes us “weak,” and feel shame around advocating for ourselves. Changing how we perceive needing support by recognizing that asking for what we need makes us stronger can help to build a positive relationship to ourselves and our disability needs. Practicing advocating for our needs leads to a deeper trust with ourselves. When we get the help we need for ourselves, we are providing care to ourselves and improving quality of life. 

Being disabled creates unique challenges, and being frustrated when we experience those challenges is valid. When we blame ourselves for struggles beyond our control, that frustration turns inward and will hurt us more than it helps. Sometimes, our frustration is best channeled into soothing ourselves through preferred coping skills like meditation, journaling, or engaging in our favorite hobby. Another channel for these frustrations can be advocacy and activism. Working to improve accessibility in our personal lives, our communities, and beyond can directly address ableism at the source and improve our daily life. And it also can provide a helpful outlet to express the challenges we face as disabled people. Being upset by the ableist conditions you experience is not the same as being upset with yourself for being disabled. The voices of disabled people are integral to progress. Your advocacy can make a difference, both for yourself and the world around you.